What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I received an email today with a bunch of "ponderings", here are just a few of them:

• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? (that one's for you, Sana)
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?